Every motherès nightmare

i want to write something>>>i"m searching for the right word<>>>>> and now my keyboard"s wonky and i remember last time this happened don had to fix it>>>> I want to write something that is life changing for someone.....eyeopeningÉÉÉ cool different funky neato""" the word escapes me

today was homeschooling swimming lessons> my boys love going<> so we"re late<>

<'''''''''''now itès really wonky' at least maybe iève kinda figured it out' but hard to read noé

23 HAY Numbers are back, and commas, I have no idea how I changed it.

Ok back to my story....we get to the pool late, as usual, and since August is basically ready and his lessons start in like 30 seconds and he just has to get his shoes and tshirt off, I send him in while I pay for me, and then head in to the change room with the other two boys.

I get into the pool into the shallow end with the two little guys and I realize I forgot to put in contacts before leaving the house. This is bad. Out in the deep end I see a head bobbing up, take a breath and head back down....over and over .......It looks like August, I start screaming MY SON MY SON, and pointing, but I canèt do anything as Ièm with a 3 and 5 year old, who canèt swim and who would follow me out......the lifeguard is about to jump in when the mother of the bobber jumps up and yells IT IS MY SON AND HE IS FINE. ok, I am a loser. August was on his back swimming with his instructor. I still havenèt spotted him and keep asking Sawyer DO YOU SEE AUGUST DO YOU SEE AUGUST - he has distinctive goggles, but I can not see him. Sidenote: I have told August in the past that if he gets in over his head and starts to sink to go to the bottom and shoot up so he can get a breath. My heart and insides were in turmoil for the rest of the swim. the kid DID look like my kid, and same goggles, I think. His mother talked to me later, she felt bad that she was so blase at the time, but realized the panic I felt. I was just happy to see her get up, cuz then I knew it wasnèt August........Which takes me to the time Holdy almost drowned, in our backyard pool with Adults standing RIGHT THERE.

Scene, birthday party, blowup backyard pool, big mess, Holdy a baby at 10.5 mos and pulling up only....mommy cleaning up as party is essentially over. I head in and out of the house clearing up and the baby is furniture walking around the yard chairs. In the kitchen I have to pee, I have two choices, go thru the hall-laundry room to br or thru the dining room where I can look outside thru a glass door. This is the route I choose and as I look out the dining room sliding glass door I see two baby feet disappear over the edge of the pool ..... you now see one mama running and screaming at the top of her voice JESUS CHRIST JESUS CHRIST.....and finding her baby under the water drowning. I did not sleep for a week. What if I had gone to the bathroom via the other route. I probably wonèt sleep tonight. The two adults who were less than 3 feet from the edge of the pool where he went in had their backs to the pool and were talking and did not notice the baby head that way......

My sister had JUST told me 3 kids drowned that summer in Victoria in backyard pools.

Needless to say, I am not comfortable at swimming lessons with three energetic boys. And when they get the waves going (I hate those dang waves, they PULL you out to the deep water, and my 7 year old still sinks.....) I really panic.....

Holdy did not (canèt use apostrophes) like baths for QUITE a while after that.

Today he was dunking his whole head under the water for fun, he JUST turned 3.

Profound, that was the word I was looking for.