So we are transitioning to organic, though we will probably never be certified (never say never, we said we'd never go organic) and now we have joined a network that matches us with willing workers.....for room and board. Sounds great doesn't it. We get these people in our home and they work 25 hours a week on our farm. We're ecstatic. (Oh if you could see the weeds.....) If they're slow OH WELL, we're not paying by the hour. However, we have a new issue. We have these people on our farm (currrently one...soon to be 5 - a family of 4 is coming this week...) and we feel like we have to have a "talk" with our kids. Yep, how do we broach the subject of improprieties with our kids. We are psycho careful that our kids are not alone with anyone we don't know...but how do you speak to your kids about this kind of thing without totally psyching them out...I mean seriously, how do you explain someone may want to hurt you, or may want you to touch them, or yeesh, it freaks me TOTALLY out. We are pretty open in our house (like nakedness is nothing.....just pop in sometime you may find naked boys jumping on the tramp and mom running for the bedroom.....just kidding! Just naked boys) my point being that they don't have a problem with nakedness, but what about inappropriate nakedness????? How do you draw the line? How do you explain to a 7 and 5 year old that people shouldn't do things......I feel so at loss. I don't want to wreck their perfect innocent sheltered little minds that only find joy and happiness in life and daily living......
Mating, babies, sex, period, tampons NO PROBLEM.......CHILD PREDATORS.....BIG PROBLEM.
Some may say Well don't have these people on your farm. Good point.
5 comments:
You can keep it generic. Tell them that they are in charge of their own bodies and if anybody touches them in any way that they don't like, they have the right to ask the other person to stop, and they can always come to you guys for help. Tell them you are on their side.
These are truths that go beyond predators, so your kids can receive the message in a way they are comfortable with now, and expand the message as needed if new situations arise.
Oh, I also meant to say that I wouldn't limit your life out of fear of predators. Predators are not in predictable places to begin with. They are everywhere. Most abused kids are victimized by family members. The best you can do is give your kids tools that will work whenever you're not around.
Thanx Ronnie, I was unable to come up with a way to talk about it that made sense to me, and this does. Part of the problem to me is that often it is someone close to the parents that can 'hurt' them, so how do you get this thru to them......I like your suggestions...
YOu might try reading "Protecting the gift"...it is written by a criminal analyst and was VERY informative.
I have told my littles (5 and 3) that their bodies are their own, and that NO ONE (except mom and dad to help wipe, etc) should ever touch, and that they don't ever touch any one else either....
Private parts are for personal use only :)
ANd as we also have littles who LOVE to be naked, we simply have a rule that when we have people in our home or when we are in other people's homes, we wear clothes. no exceptions.It seems harsh for kids who love nudity so much, but it's what we're comfy with.
Oh, you don't know me, but I've been reading your blog for awhile and enjoy it, you can check out mine if you wish.
Anno
I have that book!! go figure, I bought it years ago as it didn't apply to me yet.....I'm off to dig it out. I tried to access your blog....no luck...is it invite only??
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