If they don't work ....

If discipline tools don't work in a "functioning" (I'm labelling myself that...HA!) family how in the heck are they supposed to work in a dysfunctional family? I mean really time outs, consequences, punishment....I really believe in teaching my kids how to relate with each other. I get angry, I yell, occasionally, I help them fix it, most of the time. I calm myself down internally and re-react if I've used a script from my childhood.... They sometimes, if I'm upset, usually because they've hurt each other, go to their room for like 10 seconds, mostly so I can calm down.....but really we don't "discipline" in the traditional manner. Much to my mother's dispair.....("That child needs a good whack on his bottom!") So my sister-in-law is now telling me how she helps her clients to discipline their kids, how she helps them at home...I mean she is a child and family services worker who helps people get their kids back, or keep them if it looks like the kids are going to be taken...Usually there is some sort of abuse (drugs, alcohol, neglect) in the household involved and single parent households are common. So these crack smoking idiots (seriously) are being taught, by my sil, how to handle their kids. Sounds like a recipe for disaster and a waste of taxpayers dollars eh? Don't even get me started on how she raised her kids....Mental note to self "Don't judge anyone until you've walked a mile in their shoes....repeat often" She started telling us how to handle Holdy this weekend during her visit because "I'm a counsellor, I can't help it....." Don't get me started.