Wow, there's a loaded topic title...I'm in the middle of dealing with my 83 year old father whose health is failing fast. I've been trying for 4 or so years to get him to consider moving to a seniors' residence. This would eleviate his loneliness and my worry....a double bonus. He doesn't eat properly, clean properly, he can't see, can't hear, can barely walk, can't cook - oh the list is long. He's at my house 1-4 nights a week. He eats, sleeps and well sleeps. After one intervention with my dad I had him weeping on the phone. It was a truly horrible feeling. I can't go into details but believe me the situation is YUCK. After another mini crisis (my father is a retired doctor and I caught him writing his own prescriptions......which I CAN'T believe - the pharmasist obviously owes my dad for something...) I finally had to go in and see his doctor, a man our family has known since I was a kid on a social basis. I said told him that it is very very cruel to leave it this late and make me the meanie. He said to me "No, it's cruel that he's blaming you for getting old." He has been trying to get my dad in to see him for a year but my dad is avoiding him as he knows where it is going. Obviously writing his own prescriptions (quintuple bypass 12 or so years ago and mulitiple other problems) allows him to avoid going in.....I'm to expect tears, manipulation, guilt trips and so on. This sucks. I bet it sucks more to be my father.
I promise never to do this to my kids.
Did I mention my mother is 14 years younger?
I hereby declare my sister gets to deal with her.
Life goes on.