So there!

My mum so thinks we're screwing the kids up it's not funny - and then she asked this morning "What's the smallest flying mammal?" And A yelled "BAT!" (We just happened to read "The truth about bats" Magic School Bus chapter book the night before....) Did you know that there is a bumblebee bat? Coolness. Now the kids want to see one and were AMAZED that we have bats here and want to see one NOW! Of course we only see them in the warmer months....not when there's snow on the ground. Ok, I just googled it Bats hibernate here :)
I occasionally yell at my kids (ducking) and am always amazed at how fast they seem to get over it.....sometimes while I'm still ticked. They are just happily continuing on with what they are doing. Joyful and curious. Inquisitive and passionate. I watched a mother yell at her son the other day....he looked at her mournfully, then she yelled some more, same and then a few minutes later observed them continue home walking 10 feet apart. He is in kindergarten. I was horrified at the miserableness of the child. What was she yelling? It must be part of the equation. I yell when I'm frustrated, not getting their attention or well, when I'm frustrated at the total chaos that is my life and need someone, anyone to listen to me.....and get the damn jammies on...... I don't degrade my kids, I don't belittle them, I don't call them names, I'm pretty predictable "I don't want to yell, and I don't want to ask you 5x" so maybe it goes in one ear and out the other. Great. I know what the parenting experts are going to suggest..... But my point is this - I don't attack my kids. They seem to know that it is built up frustration. It's like they expect it and they know it'll blow over fast. It seems we have built this into our way. I was talking with hubby about this whole experience and we know we need to be more proactive at step one of the frustration chain......I am going to work on this .....

Kinda Like Dominoes.....

So the three boys were playing naked on mummy's bed, jumping around, while we dealt with paperwork in the office for a legal action we are taking (you don't want to know, in a nutshell....salt contamination of our water supply by the highways department next door......a long story) and we hear a bang, scream and crying, which stops .... then a minute later S comes in holding his head. Seeing the copious quanities of blood, I immediately say stitches. Hubby gets snow and we stop the bleeding....finish our paperwork....and head to the doctor. S and I sit in the walk in clinic waiting waiting waiting....and finally get in the room. Of course he is asked mulitple times what happened. (Doesn't help this is the THIRD time we have taken him in for scalp stitches....in the past 1.5 years) The doctor puts on some numbing agent and I head for a pee (The reason we like this walk in clinic - it's beside Starbucks!) I hear from the bathroom at top notch "I spy with my little eye....." I head back to find the nurse yakking with my boy. She's like "So, what happened?" And S was describing "Well my brother had a pillow on his head..." she looks confused, he follows this with "and, well, you know dominoes??? It was like that, he went down and then so did I....."

New Toy

Yep, we fell for it, the treadmill that would get us ready for ski season....got it on sale, a good one great to use, easy to fold up...and it's been folded up since we bought it. Er....hubby may have gone on one run. BUT it is the greatest toy ever. Did you know 5 year old Sawyer can run 10.1 kmh??? Yep, he holds on as he runs, his little legs are moving at full speed and his face has the most ecsquisite look until he has had enough, lets go and swings from the handles.....it's hilarious. The boys spend hours taking turns on the treadmill now....and the ones that aren't running??? They have lego and etc to drop on the back and watch it shoot off the back of the moving treadmill. I better tell them they can ONLY use it 10 mins a day, so they want to use it more.....hehe

Cleaning Up Joyfully...

I've read so much about what kind of parent I want to be; I am not an instinctive parent, but when I read about parenting styles I know instinctively what is right (HA! Who am I to judge?) I was describing my mother and a bit of family history with a friend and she said to me "Ohhhhh, that's why you read so many parenting books...." I'd never thought of it that way. This is kind of how I stumbled into attachment parenting. We were reading all these books about being pregnant, and how the baby was developing, and I said to hubby "We better get some books on how to take care of a baby....." He bought the Sears' Baby Book. Which was the best one he could have. It started with the premise that you take what you wanted from the book, and ignore everything you didn't agree with. This kept me reading. I was going to breastfeed on a 4 hour schedule (thanx mom.) baby was going to be in a crib, sleep the night thru at 6 weeks....etc.....HA HA HA!!!!! I went from that to a LLL leader.......EEEEEEEanyways I digress.....I was reading a cool article and something really hit me in the head. Something that I knew already and forgot, something that I do most of the time, but forget when I'm tired or frustrated....basically if you make a big deal about how crappy it is to clean up after your kids, then why would they ever take joy or want to clean up after themselves, since it's such a drag for mom. My normal procedure is to get the boys and say "Let's organize your room!" and we all tromp in and have a cleanfest. And it's usually great together time. And in fact, I'm pretty ok with a messy bedroom. However, toys gradually get spread all over the house, in multilayers, and this mommy would like some sort of, I don't know, method to my madness. Trust me my house doesn't smell like bleach...and I'm a clutterbug.....but I'd like to be able to vaccum once in awhile....I don't care if there's toys out....it's when there are trains, hotwheels, tinkertoys, AND lego etc out....spread out.....(ok I know my kids have too many toys...I'm working on simplifying) that I start to go looney. After play toys away. Clean up clean up everything in its place. I get frustrated and start getting ticked, and take the JOY out of it. They don't look happy, I'm not happy, noone's enjoying themselves.....I *know* instinctively that this is NOT WORKING and NOT THE WAY TO INSPIRE them but I keep at it.....silly me. This has got to stop.

hmmmm

I was watching Oprah today (like the first time in about 7 years.......she drives me a bit nutty) as I was folding the MOUNTAIN of laundry.....(that's my excuse for turning on the tv)......and it was about finding satisfaction in your life....Changing your life to do what makes you happy. That may be quitting your job to do what your heart desires (the example was banker who is now a trapeze artist) and then Oprah said something along the lines that Most women are not at all satisfied in caring for their children. (I took this to mean SAHM, I could be wrong.) I felt sad. Very sad. I am so DARN lucky that I can spend every day with my beautiful, curious, happy, joyful, busy boys.....I would be SO MISERABLE if I had to go to work and leave them at school or with someone else. Wow, when they go to a playdate I miss them - I can't imagine going thru that every day....and then trying to deal with the whole household management thing and working outside the home....CRINGE (MAYBE if you are out working and your kids are in school your house just stays tidy and clean!? Yah! That's it. It never gets messy......)

Anxiety

Oh man, just when I think I'm at ease with the path we are taking with our kids, I go and blow it. I mean I went and read a bunch of blogs by super moms. You know, the kind of mom I'm not. When *do* these women find the time? I think we're ticking along fine, and I think progress is being made (ok, so what if Sawyer doesn't know the name of the last letter in his name, he knows it is the last letter in his name.....) August is reading more and more and really figuring it out...He can even be asked to read to his brothers in a crunch, sometimes. Holdy made a Sawyer letter (S) today out of an elastic....But as for big involved projects? Uh, no. games, nope.....the little guy only gets in there and ruins them. Card games with August, nope. Can't, the little guy again. Reading? Yep, every day, as much as possible....sometimes more than an hour, sometimes 15 minutes....My goal: 1 Hour. Playtime: Endless TV: Magic School Bus, Superwhy, Word World..... Computer: sometimes, today Yes, Holdy did Sesame Street games Nature walks? It's my goal to do something outside with them as much as possible....Does going out to check out the black bear footprints along our fence count? Digging parsnips for Xmas dinner? Carrots for the reindeer? Shovelling off the sagging trampoline and scary snowloaded greenhouses?? Ok ok, we did do one walk at Millard Park by Walmart this week ....Skiing? Yep, 2 days before Xmas 2 days after.....lots more to come.... Playing outside in the snow: Now this SERIOUSLY cuts into any REAL (tongue firmly in cheek, I think) learning going on as I have to drag the kids in to eat dinner, they barely undress, if at all, then head out again til bedtime, drag them back inside and force them into pjs and into bed. My kids need to go to bed early or we, the parents, suffer with endless pointless meltdowns the next day.....

On one post I read "stay tuned for more ideas to integrate learning into your daily life...." HUH??? I thought that was what I was doing everyday. But am I? Am I doing enough? Are we?? Maybe what I do isn't as structured as some, more fly by the seat of my pants type stuff....Like August asked why the gravy pourer measuring cup (now bathtub toy) poured out of the bottom, so I explained that oil/fat floated on water so with this kitchen tool allowed us to pour out the gravy and leave the oil/fat.....I promised to show him tomorrow.....I mentionned oil tankers crashing and spilling oil and sea birds landing in it....but does this sink in??? (Has Ms Frizzle talked about this??? )

I looked into ordering some Painted Lady Butterfly Larvae today.....that would be cool. Of course this was from the blog of one of the super moms.....

I looked into Discovery Streaming....but I hate the idea of sitting them down to watch *more* tv....

I'm so frightened of trying to do some sort of project with the boys, August more specifically, and ruining it for him by getting to teachy....I'd love to do some sort of project with birds - journalling etc, but it seems if I try to introduce something he *knows* what I'm doing and refuses....I had some stuff on my laptop about earthquakes, he found it and was looking at it but as soon as he realized I had it for him he stopped....ARGH!!!!

Where would he be if he was in school right now?

Heard this week: A: Mom, why do eagles look so beautiful when they're gliding but their sound is so bad. (At the park listening to the bald eagle calls, an almost undescribable sound)
S: Are you going to back up then? (After explaining something was my back up plan)
H: I love worms.

Fair, finally.

August asked me when I was gonna wrap some presents and put them under our tree. Procrastination. So I did. I noticed that I had one less for Sawyer and that the Bionicles (ducking the boos for the made in china plastic lego crap) I bought for him didn't "match". So I left two bags out empty for him. I mentionned to Don that there were less gifts for Sawyer. His comment "they won't even notice". So what's the first thing they do in the morning? "LET'S ORGANIZE THE PRESENTS!!!!!" So they organize. What do they notice. Sawyer has three less....I call him into our room and explain I made a mistake and two more were coming for him. So out he goes happy, and says, "those 2 empty bags are for mine...." So off I head to Walmart, Zellers, Superstore (ducking again....) and guess what? Bionicles are sold out everywhere. So then I figure out the 3 year old doesn't need matching bionicles, he'll probably be happy with one, so I re-wrap the 3 year olds bionicles - one big/one little that match - for the 5 year old (I'm a good mummy I changed bags....) and wrapped 1 for the 3 year old (I got them for him so he didn't feel left out, turns out he didn't need em.....) Then I dig out another gift I had in the cupboard and now all the kids have gifts again. The next morning there is another re-organization. Later that day Holdy, 3, says to me, "Where is my little bag, I had two little bags and 1 disappeared" He NOTICED I had switched out one of his little gifts.....I couldn't believe it. So luckily, I remembered another gift I had stashed a couple of months ago, popped that into a bag for him, and all was "fair", finally.

The play that goes on with the Bionicles is so sweet. These slasher shooter creatures are sick, and in the hospital, their mummies help them get better, they go to sleep overs.....I get a good giggle out of it.....

Santa, that dastardly fellow, got them a 250 piece set of tinkertoys....ok, what brainiac wanted that gift cuz now there are 250 wooden pieces of made in china crap all over our floor......

Junie B Jones. A sweet little thing. I laugh when I read it to the kids. Especially when the mother or the teacher puts her head on the table/desk in exasparation. I hate the fact that some of the "grammar" is SO bad. So what do I do? Read and correct as I go (so when August is reading with me sees me say different words than what are written), read it as it is so he matches my reading to the words (inward groan) or not read at all. I know it's useless twaddle; I read a lot of twaddle free literature to them too. I also hate some of the topics. To 3 boys I just read "the mushy gushy valentine" Argh! About boys and girls 'liking' each other, getting a Valentine from a "secret admirer" and bugging each other because they "liked" each other etc. It was just so out of context for my kids, I wanted to quit reading and move on to the next book, about a field trip to a farm. But of course I couldn't. Pretty sure my kids took it as liking as in for a friend. But this makes me believe that it is media, books, tv and just being in school that teaches this, for want of a better word, sexualization of boy-girl relationships so young. Right now one of August's best friends is a grade 5 ten year old girl. They spend hours together. Go figure, he's in grade 2. Another reason not to send my boys to school. Note to self, pre-read/scan silly books to make sure topics are ok......